This week, I started the Regenerative Leadership program with Lucienne Miller (the same program she teaches to NATO), and day one completely shifted how I think about leadership, influence, and even marketing.

Most business growth strategies focus on the tactics. The campaigns. The content calendars. The ads. The funnels. The "growth hacks."

And don't get me wrong, those things matter. As a Fractional CMO, I live and breathe marketing strategy.

But here's what I re-learned this week: None of that matters if you're not showing up in the right way.

The way you show up changes everything.

When you sit down for coffee with a potential client, are you centering them in the conversation? Or are you waiting for your turn to pitch?

When you're in a strategy meeting with a partner, are you deeply listening to understand their world? Or are you thinking about what you're going to sell them?

When you show up stressed, distracted, or in "activation mode," people feel it. And it impacts everything: the trust you build, the relationships you nurture, the influence you have.

Here's what hit me hardest from the session:

• How we show up as leaders can literally add years to people's lives. The inverse is also true. Our stress, our energy, our presence affects everyone around us.
• We are always in a state of influence. Whether we realise it or not. Every interaction matters.
• We don't live in a world designed to recover from stress. And most of us (myself included) spend way too much time in activation mode and not enough in recovery.
• We are stupid when we're under high stress. Our decision-making suffers. Our creativity tanks. Our ability to connect diminishes.
• Understanding people's social drivers allows us to communicate more effectively and reduce unnecessary threats in conversations.

So what does this have to do with marketing and business growth?

Everything!

Marketing isn't just about what you say or what you sell. It's about how you make people feel. It's about the relationships you build. It's about being of service, not just selling your wares the moment you catch up with someone.

The missing piece in most business growth strategies isn't another tactic. It's intentionality in how you show up.

Here's how to apply relationship-building in your marketing strategy to achieve real commercial goals:

1. Lead with curiosity, not your capabilities

Before your next client meeting, spend time researching not just their business, but their challenges, their industry pressures, and their recent wins. Ask questions that show you've done the work. "I noticed you just expanded into the Brisbane market. What's been the biggest surprise so far?" beats "Let me tell you what we can do for you" every single time.

When people feel genuinely seen and understood, they're more likely to trust you with their business.

2. Create space for deeper conversations

Your marketing shouldn't just be about broadcasting your services. Create opportunities for real dialogue. Host intimate roundtables instead of large networking events. Send personalized video messages instead of templated emails. Have actual phone conversations instead of hiding behind DMs

The depth of your relationships will directly impact the quality of your client partnerships, and their lifetime value.

3. Be of service before you sell

Share insights. Make introductions. Send them an article that made you think of them. Celebrate their wins publicly. Offer value without expecting anything in return.

This isn't just "nice to do", it's strategic. When you consistently show up as someone who adds value to their world, you become the obvious choice when they're ready to invest.

4. Understand their social drivers

Everyone has different motivators. Some clients crave autonomy and hate being micromanaged. Others need certainty and detailed plans. Some want to feel like they're part of an exclusive group; others want fairness and transparency above all else.

When you tune into what drives your clients and adapt your communication style accordingly, you reduce friction and build trust faster. This means smoother sales conversations, stronger partnerships, and clients who stick around longer.

5. Manage your own energy

You cannot pour from an empty cup. If you're showing up to client meetings stressed, depleted, or running on fumes, they feel it even if you think you're hiding it well.

Your energy is part of your brand. Invest in your recovery. Protect your boundaries. Show up at your best, not your most burned out.

Clients don't just buy your expertise, they buy the experience of working with you.

What's the commercial reality?

When you center relationships in your marketing strategy:

• Your close rates improve because people already trust you
• Your client retention increases because the relationship goes deeper than transactional
• Your referrals multiply because people want to share you with others
• Your marketing feels less like "selling" and more like a genuine connection

Let me be clear: This approach doesn't replace your marketing tactics. It makes them more effective.

Your campaigns land better when they come from a place of understanding your audience deeply. Your content resonates more when it addresses real pain points you've learned from your conversations. Your sales process flows more naturally when it's built on a foundation of trust.

Lastly, before you tweak your marketing strategy, before you launch another campaign, before you jump into the next sales conversation, I want you to ask yourself:

How am I showing up?

Because that might just be the missing piece.

‍